HOW DO YOU SHAKE IT?

HOW DO YOU SHAKE IT?
Bad Handshakes IDENTIFIED

aka: GET A GRIP!

Right or wrong, first impressions DO count. Business deals and employment opportunities could be lost or won depending on how you shake.

Let’s do a simple experiment. Grab a friend, enemy, neighbor or loved one and no, the dog does not count! Don’t think about this, just do it. Shake their hand and WATCH their eyes.

What did that handshake just say?

1. Did you give a fish? Dead grip just lying there passively in your neighbor’s hand?
2. The diva? Hand extended with the fingers facing down, while the body is arched back, and the nose is up in the air?
3. The pope? Uh, that would be the “the kiss my ring” shake, similar to the diva, but the male version, with (believe it or not), more emphasis on the ring
4. The milkshake? The one that goes on and on like your whole arm is in a blender?
5. How about the He-man? I am stronger than you and I want you to know it?
6. A fingertip? Yes, I have really gotten just an index finger
7. Maybe the fist -bump? Not even going to explain
8. Or my personal favorite to receive, the one that has me reaching (and retching) for a napkin and the Purell, the wet limp biscuit?

Did you identify your handshake from the list above? If yes, you better keep reading. Actually, keep reading anyway.

So now that we know what a bad handshake is, what is a good one?
1. Always use your right hand and face the person directly
2. Make and hold appropriate eye contact
3. Extend your arm forward and with vertical palm, comfortably grip and apply balanced pressure (ok, maybe first give a quick inconspicuous wipe on a napkin or hanky -as a precaution)
4. Pump – yes- Pump. 1-3X. About 2 seconds

Who’s idea was this handshake thing?

One explanation I read, comes from Medieval Times, where the open right hand indicated that you were not carrying a weapon. If two men met and displayed empty right hands, they could assume they would not be attacked by the other.
Another possibility is that the shaking motion was meant to dislodge any sharp objects that may have been hidden in an adversaries’ sleeve.

So I think in modern times, especially on a job hunt, be careful of what you have up your sleeve…

your comments are always welcome

http://www.movebeyondthefear.com/

dweiner@thetemporaryservice.com

deborah@movebeyondthefear.com

A JOB? A DATE? WHAT"S THE DIFF?

SEEKING A JOB? SEEKING A DATE or RELATIONSHIP? WHAT’S THE DIFFERENCE?
A few days ago, I bumped into my neighbor, a beautiful woman with a new great job. Clearly upset, as having just returned from a "bad” date, she proceeded to share a few of her war dating stories and the general distaste that she has in the whole search for MR. RIGHT. “Interviewing for my job was easier than dating” she lamented.

That got me thinking, is seeking a love relationship the same as searching for a job?
Let’s see.
We join on-line dating sites and complete copious forms which divulge our personal experiences to strangers.
We patronize trendy and not so trendy bars and restaurants with the hopes of seeing and being seen.
We visit venues that we probably have no interest in as a further attempt to meet our love match.
We are anxious but pumped for the possibilities!
Signals are sent out, an internal dance where we know the rhythm.
We approach or wait with anticipation to be approached by that special someone and think maybe this time there will be the right chemistry.
We make eye contact and smile. Faltering just a bit, recovering swiftly. Déjà vu.
We know our lines-have our story down. We want them to believe in who we are.
We listen to them speak. Pause. Now it is our turn to ask questions, (what’s your sign)? No need to fumble our words. Is there a connection? We want them to know. We need them to know. Are they listening? Are they interested?
It grows late. We lightly kiss goodbye and agree that it was a pleasure to have met and walk our separate ways. Will they call?
Hmmm.
We sign up on job boards and social networking sites, where all our employment history is laid bare for any interested parties to view.
We present ourselves at different venues to network with our peers or potential hiring managers with hope of finding leads.
We are intimate with our resumes.
We are anxious but pumped for the possibilities!
We are correctly attired for the position we are seeking.
Our elevator speech is polished.
Requisite calls and emails to follow up on potential jobs are sent with hopeful anticipation, while we wait apprehensively to be contacted or courted by potential employers.
Eye contact, smile, hand shake-firm. We have been here before. Déjà vu. Find a commonality.
Listen. Pause. Speak. Ask our questions. We will not fumble our words. Are we connecting? We need them to know we can make their work load easier, we are aligned with their company goals. Are they listening? What is their interest level?
Thank you. Shake. It has been a pleasure to have met you. We walk our separate ways. Will they call?
Hmmm.

Your feedback is always welcome and valued.

Ready for a transformative conversation? Visit my website www.movebeyondthefear.com and make your FREE no obligation appointment now.