HOW DO YOU SHAKE IT?

HOW DO YOU SHAKE IT?
Bad Handshakes IDENTIFIED

aka: GET A GRIP!

Right or wrong, first impressions DO count. Business deals and employment opportunities could be lost or won depending on how you shake.

Let’s do a simple experiment. Grab a friend, enemy, neighbor or loved one and no, the dog does not count! Don’t think about this, just do it. Shake their hand and WATCH their eyes.

What did that handshake just say?

1. Did you give a fish? Dead grip just lying there passively in your neighbor’s hand?
2. The diva? Hand extended with the fingers facing down, while the body is arched back, and the nose is up in the air?
3. The pope? Uh, that would be the “the kiss my ring” shake, similar to the diva, but the male version, with (believe it or not), more emphasis on the ring
4. The milkshake? The one that goes on and on like your whole arm is in a blender?
5. How about the He-man? I am stronger than you and I want you to know it?
6. A fingertip? Yes, I have really gotten just an index finger
7. Maybe the fist -bump? Not even going to explain
8. Or my personal favorite to receive, the one that has me reaching (and retching) for a napkin and the Purell, the wet limp biscuit?

Did you identify your handshake from the list above? If yes, you better keep reading. Actually, keep reading anyway.

So now that we know what a bad handshake is, what is a good one?
1. Always use your right hand and face the person directly
2. Make and hold appropriate eye contact
3. Extend your arm forward and with vertical palm, comfortably grip and apply balanced pressure (ok, maybe first give a quick inconspicuous wipe on a napkin or hanky -as a precaution)
4. Pump – yes- Pump. 1-3X. About 2 seconds

Who’s idea was this handshake thing?

One explanation I read, comes from Medieval Times, where the open right hand indicated that you were not carrying a weapon. If two men met and displayed empty right hands, they could assume they would not be attacked by the other.
Another possibility is that the shaking motion was meant to dislodge any sharp objects that may have been hidden in an adversaries’ sleeve.

So I think in modern times, especially on a job hunt, be careful of what you have up your sleeve…

your comments are always welcome

http://www.movebeyondthefear.com/

dweiner@thetemporaryservice.com

deborah@movebeyondthefear.com

A JOB? A DATE? WHAT"S THE DIFF?

SEEKING A JOB? SEEKING A DATE or RELATIONSHIP? WHAT’S THE DIFFERENCE?
A few days ago, I bumped into my neighbor, a beautiful woman with a new great job. Clearly upset, as having just returned from a "bad” date, she proceeded to share a few of her war dating stories and the general distaste that she has in the whole search for MR. RIGHT. “Interviewing for my job was easier than dating” she lamented.

That got me thinking, is seeking a love relationship the same as searching for a job?
Let’s see.
We join on-line dating sites and complete copious forms which divulge our personal experiences to strangers.
We patronize trendy and not so trendy bars and restaurants with the hopes of seeing and being seen.
We visit venues that we probably have no interest in as a further attempt to meet our love match.
We are anxious but pumped for the possibilities!
Signals are sent out, an internal dance where we know the rhythm.
We approach or wait with anticipation to be approached by that special someone and think maybe this time there will be the right chemistry.
We make eye contact and smile. Faltering just a bit, recovering swiftly. Déjà vu.
We know our lines-have our story down. We want them to believe in who we are.
We listen to them speak. Pause. Now it is our turn to ask questions, (what’s your sign)? No need to fumble our words. Is there a connection? We want them to know. We need them to know. Are they listening? Are they interested?
It grows late. We lightly kiss goodbye and agree that it was a pleasure to have met and walk our separate ways. Will they call?
Hmmm.
We sign up on job boards and social networking sites, where all our employment history is laid bare for any interested parties to view.
We present ourselves at different venues to network with our peers or potential hiring managers with hope of finding leads.
We are intimate with our resumes.
We are anxious but pumped for the possibilities!
We are correctly attired for the position we are seeking.
Our elevator speech is polished.
Requisite calls and emails to follow up on potential jobs are sent with hopeful anticipation, while we wait apprehensively to be contacted or courted by potential employers.
Eye contact, smile, hand shake-firm. We have been here before. Déjà vu. Find a commonality.
Listen. Pause. Speak. Ask our questions. We will not fumble our words. Are we connecting? We need them to know we can make their work load easier, we are aligned with their company goals. Are they listening? What is their interest level?
Thank you. Shake. It has been a pleasure to have met you. We walk our separate ways. Will they call?
Hmmm.

Your feedback is always welcome and valued.

Ready for a transformative conversation? Visit my website www.movebeyondthefear.com and make your FREE no obligation appointment now.

What do you “Put Out”
on a job interview?
Aka: How does your body betray you?

A few days ago, I ran into an old friend of mine that I remembered as a hotshot attorney at a very prestigious law firm. He revealed that he left that old corporate gig and now earns masses of money as a professional poker player. He proceeded to regale me with stories about sitting around the table and bluffing his opponents. He stated that, “As you are a recruiter and employer, you understand the subliminal effects of BODY LANGUAGE”.

(Yeah, yeah, you also need a good hand). Well, now he really had my attention.

“I know that you coach your candidates to mimic or mirror the volume and stance of the interviewer and to make the appropriate eye contact to show interest in the position. I also know that you school them in being aware of what their arms are doing. Are they crossed-suggesting defense? Are the hands on the hips-indicating aggression- or are they simply relaxed in the lap?”

He was good.

“But Deborah dear, have you looked at the legs and feet?” (Ok, now I will confess, only if they are wearing a great pair of shoes).

“One must look to see if there is a lot of crossing and uncrossing the legs, as lots of movement indicates nervousness. Where as a bouncing foot signifies boredom or impatience. You must also be aware of legs crossed up high on the thigh, which is defensive and connotes a bad hand. One ankle placed on top of the other legs knee, with the knee pointing sideways, conveys confidence and power-a possible full house”

…and just when you thought that all you needed for a great interview was a solid resume, the answers to all anticipated questions and a wee bit of luck.

See you in Vegas.

My coaching website has launched.
Please visit www.movebeyondthefear.com

HOW DO YOU PLAN A WAR?

HOW DO YOU PLAN A WAR....I MEAN A JOB SEARCH?

Ladies and Gentleman, The war is ON. The prize is a Full-Time job.

1. Are you clear on the target?


2. Who is the commander?


3. Who are the troops?


4. What is the plan?


5. What is the back-up plan?


6. Who are you engaging?


7. How are you engaging?


8. What is your ammo?


9. What weapons are available to you?


10. How do you further build your arsenal?


11. Decide are you a passive or aggressive commander?


12. Identify where the landmines are?


13. Do you have a spy inside for tactical knowledge?


14. What supplies do you need to hold out for a siege?


15. Are you able to recognize small victories?


16. Why are they important?


17. When do you retreat and regroup?


18. How many hours are you putting in?
    
    In 1933 FDR made a very profound statement during his inaugural address that is as true today, as it was then.
    THE ONLY THING YOU HAVE TO FEAR, IS FEAR ITSELF
    
    Coming soon: New Website: MOVE BEYOND THE FEAR
    Movebeyondthefear.com

what did you think of this post?

NETWORKING OR NETWREKING?

Welcome to the game...the game of BUSINESS. Where how well you play will depend on following the rules. Like all games, there is an objective. Here, it is to establish RELATIONSHIPS by collecting useful and worthwhile business cards or email addresses for follow-up. Events usually take place in elegant or relaxed venues. There will be obstacles like free flowing vodka and dip with chips (or is it chips and dips?) to navigate at every turn. Your opponents? everyone else in the room with your exact agenda. So come on! Let's play......

1. Decide if the event will serve your contact needs. If you are an advertising executive, how well will your time be served at an event for recent University of Michigan graduates?
2. Prepare a quick mental brief to share about who you are and what line of work you are seeking.
3. Place your name tag just below your RIGHT shoulder. As you shake hands, the eye will see that first.
4. Enter the room and circulate-key in on someone or a group that catches your interest.
5. Smile and make eye contact, listen until you are included.
6. Introduce yourself when there is a pause.
7. Spend only a few moments with each group. Leaving gracefully by closing with a handshake and asking for a card.
8. Never hang out at the bar
9. Always keep your drink in your left hand. Keeping your right hand free to shake.
10. Never talk about sex, religion, income and health-especially yours.
11. Avoid "I"
12. Did I mention have fun?

READY..SET..HIRED!

Ready..Set...Hired!
You sent the resume. You scored an interview, but they said "no thank-you" even though you knew you were the candidate for the position. When it comes to going after the job you want and the job you feel you are qualified for, don't take NO for an answer. Separate yourself from the herd. Do your homework. Know their competition. Show the hiring firm what suggestions YOU can bring to the table. Follow up with a series of emails or quick notes showing them why you are right for the position. Do they need a new business model? Write one. Are they looking for someone to bring in new ideas? Email one (or two). Are the ads looking stale? Create a new one. Explain how you will improve the job. Finding inventive and creative ways to reach out to the hiring manager may establish the desire for the company to reach back out to you. So what are you waiting for? You all have homework to do.

interview stress survival "101"

You scored that big interview huh? Now how will you get through this? A few ways to help reduce the dreaded S-T-R-E-S-S.

PREPARE, BREATHE......... DON'T CHEW GUM

1. Re-visit the company website.
2. Stay current with online sources for any new alerts that have been posted about the firm or about their competition.
3. Intimately know the contents of your resume/portfolio
4. Arrive 10 Minutes before the scheduled interview to become familiar with your surroundings.
5. Visualize yourself relaxed and confident. Create a daydream during which you have successfully landed the job of your dreams.
6. And, oh yeah, don't chew gum.